Divorce Recovery Therapy
The Other Side of Divorce.
Getting divorced is one of the most challenging of all life-experiences. Even when it’s mutual, amicable and collaborative, we still end up grieving a loss that needs to be processed. I know. I’ve been divorced and now I’m here to help you.
Elizabeth Lesser calls it “The Phoenix Process.” A ‘rebirth’ of sorts that happens when we accept letting go of the life that’s been in order to make room for the life that is. Often, fear and self-doubt hold us back. Only when we realize we can bear the unbearable, the process of recovery becomes an extraordinary opportunity for personal growth and discovery. Suffering and crisis have the ability to transform us, humble us and teach us to appreciate what matters most in life.
I’ll join you as your ‘guide’ as you travel the often overwhelming and frightening roads of divorce. I’ll help you identify your core values and to embrace challenges and act in a bold way. None of us is perfect. In moments of crisis, oftentimes the best of us emerges and we find out what we’re really capable of and who we truly are.
Ultimately the choice is yours…to feel broken and defeated or transformed and alive. Staying broken though, is more painful than the risk it takes to embrace your suffering and learn from it.
“You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.”
― The Mouthpiece of the Spirit
as quoted to Elizabeth Lesser in Broken Open
Why Come See Me?
I became a Psychotherapist for one reason alone. I couldn’t let others experience the often overwhelming, highly emotional, painful process of divorce I went through.
Knowledge is power and compassion from others is paramount during this time. I wished then there was someone who really understood how fragile and alone I felt, how impulsive and on edge I behaved and the gripping fear that took hold for what lay ahead.
I’ll share with you all I’ve learned and now understand in the hope your divorce will be a little less heart-wrenching and emotionally debilitating than mine.
Do you really get what I’m going through?
Absolutely! While no divorce is ever the same, there are basic boilerplate constructs, verbiage and legalize, formulas for maintenance, child support and more that must be included in all settlement agreements. Specifics and details are what may vary. Mine was anything but standard. We had lawyers, law guardians, forensic psychologists, motions and more motions, orders to show cause, orders of protection, a custody trial lasting 19 days, ad nauseum. Most importantly though, I understand what an emotional, overwhelming, scary and often traumatic experience it can be for an individual as well as a family. I know. I’ve lived and breathed it.
Will you be able to explain the process step by step as I begin my divorce?
Yes. I remember all too well how daunting the whole process is. I had no idea what to expect at each turn or why I was asked to do certain things on top of providing reams of paperwork representing each aspect of life. I felt frustrated, more anxious and unsettled due to lack of knowledge and my emotions ran high. There may be some things I’m unfamiliar with and those we’ll discover together.
Do you have therapy groups so I can meet others going through the same thing?
Yes, absolutely. I believe it’s really helpful to get the support of others who understand what you’re going through. Friends are great but unless they’ve been divorced themselves it’s hard for them to truly grasp the pain and upset. Dates and times of meetings are determined by interest.
Do you have any regrets about your divorce?
No. The marriage was over long before it ever began. I do wish I’d had more knowledge about what’s involved in getting divorced as I think I would’ve made different choices that in the end would’ve served me better. The knowledge and wisdom I’ve learned, from what battles to pick to how children are impacted, and everything in between, can be yours.
Will you be able to guide me after my divorce on how not to make another mistake?
Yes, and I will do so from a perspective of having experienced “The Phoenix Process” myself. You too have the potential to change and/or accept the things life serves up on a daily basis. Remember, mistakes are how we learn. The problem is in making the same one again and again.
Get In Touch
White Plains, NY 10601
Tue - Fri: 9am - 7pm